A Very, Very Unbirthday
by Malzoo
Summary: What I wanted to happen after the movie was over. A little bit about Alice's years in England but also about her final return to Wonderland. It might turn out a bit strange, but isn't that what Wonderlands all about? ;)
1. Chapter 1

At first, Alice's time at the company had been great and lord Ascot had been very nice to her even though she hadn't agreed to marry his son Hamish. She wished she could say the same about his wife, lady Ascot, but sadly enough, lady Ascot had all but banned Alice from their mansion. She was only allowed there when she was to attend buisness meetings or to discuss the company and the only times she ever saw Hamish was if they happened to meet in the hallways and if that was the case, they didn't say a word to one another. Not that Alice minded that, she had never cared much for Hamish, he was far too strict and uptight and just... no fun. Just like his mother.

Alice's mother on the other hand was overjoyed at the moment. Alice's older sister Margaret and her husband Lowell had just had their first child, a son called Peter. Alice liked him very much, although she was happy that Margaret and Lowell had their own house so she didn't have to listen to Peters' screaming all nights. Unfortunately, Alice still lived with her mother, not that she didn't love her mother, it was just that she would like to be a bit more independent. But rules are rules, she couldn't get a house of her own unless she married and that was not likely to happen anytime soon, because Alice never liked any of the men who would come to court her. It had been two years now and the line of suiters finally seemed to be shrinking. Finally according to Alice, not to her mother who would get upset just by thinking of Alice's refusal of marriage.

Today, there was no reason for Alice to think about her mother, her nephew, her sister and absolutely not about getting married because today she was out riding through the woods. All by herself, not even a chaperon. Now that felt independent. With no risk of meeting anyone this far out in the forrest, Alice hadn't bothered to put on a corset or her stockings for that matter. She didn't like to wear them and the horse certainly didn't care if she was wearing stockings or not. After a while she came across a pond and she decided to stop to let the horse drink, and as it did she looked around. She couldn't shake the strange feeling of her having been there before. Slowly she slided out of the saddle and down on the ground. In front of her feet she could see a thin path, one that she hadn't noticed before. Out of curiosity, she began to follow it, after all, what ever lied on the other end of it could hardly be worse than a Jabberwocky and she had faced one of those.

The path led on a path of stones across the pond and continued inside a peculiar hole in the ground. Being who she was, Alice couldn't resist but to crawl on all four inside the tunnle, even if that meant getting her dress muddy. As she came further and further in she wondered where it would lead her and then, like someone turning on a light, she remebered exactly where she was. When she realized this, she had her hand in the air, ready to got further and so she quickly put it down so she could back out. Only, there was no ground. 'Oh no...' Alice thought to herself in the moment where her entire body slipped down the hole along with her hand.

She landed roughly on the checkerd floor in the hall with all the doors. With a sigh and some effort she stood up and brushed the worst of the dirt from her dress.

"There better be a key and some Pishalver on that table or I don't know what I'll do."

Alice turned out to be right too. There was a key on the table, along with a small bottle of what she thought was Pishalver, although she couldn't be sure because there was no 'drink me' sign or anything like that. But since there was nothing else to do, Alice picked up the key and drank the liquid just to find that she within a few seconds were of perfect size to go through the door. She was just about to do that, walk through the door, when she remembered that even as she got out there, she would be smaller than everybody else so she'd better take the Upelkuchen cake as well. Alice ran back for the cake lying beneth the tabel and then hurried through the door.

When she came out on the other side, everything seemed the same, but still something had changed. The gate wasn't rusty anymore, all the weed was gone and the flowers seemed to be singing again, just like they did when she was little. With a smile she couldn't help, Alice took a small bite of the Upelkuchen and got right back to normal size before she walked in to Wonderland. She stopped by the flowers and listened for a while before she bent down to them.

"I love your singing ladies."

"Thank you girl, I can't tell you how long it's been since... Well bless my petals! It's Alice!"

All the flowers turned around to look at Alice, but she had already continued her walk and although she could her the upset flowers calling her name and demanding her to return she didn't. There were more people she needed to see.

Absolem wasn't sitting on his mushroom, but she knew why. He had become a butterfly and was no longer a part of Wonderland. So she continued down the road until she came to the tree bearing the signs 'snud' and 'queast'. It was no longer dead, but filled with tiny green leaves and even smaller pink flowers. She really liked it, somehow it felt like home, at least to Alice.


	2. Chapter 2

The forrest was just as strange and peculiar as always, only, it wasn't as scary without all the mist and while the sun was up. Chessur didn't find her as he always did, so she assumed that he was away doing something he found fun, tricking a child perhaps. Alice smiled at the memory of the first time she met him and she had strictly said that she didn't want to see anyone who was mad. He had simply replied that what she asked was impossible since everyone here was mad. Although, Alice had come to realize that they weren't mad, at least not the kind of mad Alice had thought he meant.

After a while, at least she met Bayard, walking down the path while dusting it with his tail, quickly followed by a younger dog. One of his pups, Alice assumed and started walking towards them.

"Bayard!"

"Could it really be... Alice!"

Bayard ran upp to her and sat down by her feet. She bent down to pet him and talk to him while looking him in the eye.

"How have you been Bayard? How's your family?"

"They're just fine, as you can see, this is one pf my pups, Rocket. He's come with me today to help clean the paths."

"That's wonderful! I was just headed to the Hatters', would you like to come?"

"Oh that will make him very happy, and maybe the Clock will start ticking again if you do... And we would love to come, but there's more work to do so maybe another time."

"Alright, well I'll see you around Bayard."

"I'll see you around Alice."

Bayard and Rocket continued their way down the path and Alice walked down hers, but she couldn't help but wondering. If the Clock would start ticking again if she went to see the hatter, had she offended it? The last time she offended Time it resulted in the Hatter, the March Hare and Mallykun having to drink tea all the time, everyday for thirteen years since it was always tea-time. Worried about what she might have done, Alice held up her skirts a bit and started running down the path until she came to the road signs pointing in all different directions. This was the first time she had to find the Hatters' home herself and she thought it best to follow the signs, although, nothing in Wonderland was ever what it appeard to be so she might as well end upp att the Chessboard. Luckily, she didn't. After a while of running through the peculiar forrest, she reached a large, green hedge and at first, she thought the way stopped there, but when she looked down there was a door, just big enough for her being able to crawl through, without any Pishalver, thankfully.

When on the other side, Alice could all but smell the tea and hear the singing not too far away. This made her very happy so once again, she started to run. The hat that she had worn while riding had fallen off when she went down the hole and now the needels holding up her hair started falling out as well, which was nice since they had been pushing right into her head. By the time she got to the gate into the Hatters garden all of her hair had fallen out and was falling down her back in soft curles. She peeked through a hole in the gate to make sure it was the Hatter sitting in there although she could hear his voice clearer than any other. And just as she thought, in there the three little loonatics that she loved so very much sat happily drinking tea and singing songs just as happy. She walked through the gate and closed it behind her just in time for the song to end and then applauded them energeticly. Immediately they looked at her and at first she thought they would be angry with her, but they just sat there, completely silent and that made her even more nervous. Until the hatter smiled at her.

"Alice."

He slowly stood up from his chair with the dormouse and March Hare closely watching him, maybe they thought he was going to do something bad.

"Is it really you?"

He looked very suspicious of her, but she didn't care. Instead she just ran towards him and hugged him very tightly befor he could say anything.

"Oh Tarrant!"

Alice had barely ever pronounced the Hatters real name, but now felt like a good time and it was apparently just what he needed to hear in order to trust her because as soon as he relaxed, he hugged her back, just as tight. Then suddently, he let her go and grabbed her hand instead and walked her over to the chair he usually would have her sitting on, the one at his right.

"You're just in time! Or not, but still you are. You said that you'd be back before I'd know it and well, you see when it was time for you to come and you didn't, Time stopped ticking at once since he has grown rather impatient with you always being late. Naughty."

He talked fast, as he always did when he was excited and Alice just smiled and poured herself some tea while she was listening to him talking about how the life in Wonderland was at the time. Tarrant talked about everything and everyone that had changed or done something that caused something else to change and Alice gladely listined to her friend sitting there whilst going on and on about his home. The March Hare threw some scones up in her face when she asked for them, but she didn't mind since she had gotten used to his bizarre fondness of throwing things around. Mallykun simply handed her a knife with butter on that she gladly took to butter her scone. Now they sat there, four instead of three, drinking tea, having fun and a very good time for that matter.


	3. Chapter 3

It was rather curious, the Hatter, or Tarrant as he was actually called, hadn't changed a day and neither had the March hare or Mallymkun, but when she saw Bayard earlier, he had aged just as much as she had and if not his pup certainly had. When Alice asked Tarrant about it he simply answered that time had gotten angry with her and therefore stopped, and how could anyone age if time stood still? In a way, his words made sense, but still they didn't. Time couldn't stand still at one particular place and still be going at another, that was impossible! Just as she said that out loud, all three of her friends looked at her as if she was the strange one and then she realized she was! I believe in as many as six impossible things before breakfast, that's what she'd said the last time she was here and she would most likely do well in remembering it.

After a while of sitting there talking, a ticking noise was heard and they soon discovered that Time had started going again. Neither of Mallymkun, Tarrant or the March hare had heard that sound in quite a while, maybe not in a year and a half or so if Alice would guess and at first, they all got rather excited. Of course, they didn't know how long it had been and maybe even more important, they didn't really care. When all of them had calmed down, they spent what remained of the evening singing and talking about their lives and soon, it was evening (something they were also very excited about). Apparently, neither of them had slept since the last time it was night. A little voice in Alice's head wanted to say that it was impossible, that everyone needed to sleep, but she shook it off and focused on her friends in stead. Soon the sun had gone down beneath the Hatter's house and Tarrant stood upp very suddetly.

"Well I believe that we must part now! I don't want anyone to ruin my good sleep, or bad for that matter, or anything inbetween. So away, away! Good night, good sleep I'll see you all tomorrow!"

Mallymkun and the hare quickly gathered their affects and took off, but Alice, having nowhere to go stayed put. Tarrant looked at her very confused.

"Why aren't you going home Alice?"

"I don't have a home in Wonderland Tarrant, don't tell me you forgot?"

Obviously he had forgot that Alice did not own a house of her own in Wonderland, he had always taken her for granted in a way. Counting on her to be there, almost as much as Mallymkun and the hare and everyone else, it seemed that it was only now he realized that she didn't actually live here. Then suddently, he went from very silent in his own mind to a broad smile.

"Well of course you do silly, you live here!"

"You mean I can stay with you?"

"I don't see why you wouldn't. Come on, I'll show you to your room."

With fast steps he started walking towards his house that when you thought about it, was also a mill. Or at least it had spokes and a dome-like shaped roof. When Alice stepped into the house she realized that she had never actually been inside Tarrants house before, but she didn't tell him that. Instead she just followed him around into the kitchen where everything was a mess and then up the stairs and to a small room with a view of the tea-table outside. Tarrant looked at her hopefully.

"Do you like it?"

"It's perfect."

She said it with a smile and she could tell he got really happy about her liking his house, or a room in his house at least. Then he said a few words that didn't quite make sense and most likely didn't matter that much before he said goodnight and left her alone. When he had left her, Alice looked around for a moment and when she saw the bed, she remembered that she didn't have any nightgowns. In one of the corners there was a big wardrobe so she walked over to it to see if there was anything that she could wear. Inside the closet, there wasn't much clothing to choose from, eventually Alice settled down with a white shirt that she assumed beloned to Tarrant and guessed she could borrow. After slipping out of her dress and carefully hanging it in the wardrobe she laid down under the covers of the bed in her borrowed shirt. The sheets were cold, probably because the window was slightly opened and no one had slept in the room for at least a month judging by the thin coat of dust covering almost everything in the room. Still, Alice didn't really care about the dust, mostly because she was tired and soon fell deep asleep covered in the blue sheets.

The following morning, Alice woke up of the sun, shining straight into her room and hitting her eyes right on. She felt a bit numb, most likely because of the event full day she'd had yesterday. It took a bit of an effort to get out of bed and into the dress she wore yesterday, but at least she didn't have to bother with the "proper" underwear. Since she couldn't see a hairbrush anywhere, Alice didn't bother to look in the mirror either, if she looked awful she did certainly not want to know that. Besides, she doubted Tarrant even had a hairbrush, you'd think he'd use it if that was the case, which he undoubtfully was not. So Alice simply sneaked out of her room since she wasn't sure if Tarrant had woken up yet, and if that was the case she did certainly not want to wake him up. He would just say she was rude or naughty and she did not need that. Again. He always said that to her when she was here, but he always did it with a smile so she wasn't sure if he was really upset or not... Suddently she heard a loud sound downstairs so Alice hurried down.


	4. Chapter 4

When Alice came downstairs, the sound she had gotten so worried about simply turned out to be the March Hare and Tarrant making breakfast in their own special way. It was obvious that they hadn't done it in a while and now they couldn't remember how to do it. That's why the hare was here so early, at least that's what they told her and she didn't question them, although she wondered where Mallymkun was. He had to be around here somewhere, he never left the Hatters and the Hares sides! So while Tarrant tried to figure out how to turn on the stove, Alice walked around in the kitchen looking for the little mouse with the big attitude. Just as Tarrant remembered how to cook the eggs, Alice remembered where Mallymkun usually slept, so she turned around and walked over to the first teapot she saw. When she lifted the lid, she quickly found out that she had been right, Mallymkun was sleeping at the bottom of the pot, holding his tail in his hands. Alice smiled and thought about how cute he actually was, even if she must never say that when he's awake because he would get really angry, she always kept the thought in the back of her mind.

"Teapot! Give me the teapot Alice!"

Tarrant shouted behind her and she realized he meant the teapot that Mallymkun was sleeping in, but she didn't have time to protest, she only had time to pick the mouse up before the hare came and grabbed the pot only to throw it over to Tarrant who caught it in the air.

"Thank you!"

Alice wasn't sure who Tarrant was thanking, her or the hare, but Mallymkun certainly didn't thank her for waking him up. He quickly stood up in her palm and shouted, very upset, about how rude it was of her to wake him from the only sleep he had gotten in eighteen months. It was rude, Alice didn't need him to tell her that, but she didn't protest, instead she simply put him down on the messy kitchen table and apologized.

During the breakfast Tarrant explained that they simply must head to the White Queen and tell her about Alices arrival to Wonderland. Then they could also look at the Oraculum to see how long and why she was here. He was very enthusiastic and Alice really wanted to see Mirana again, almost as much as she didn't want to lower Tarrants mood so she agreed although she did point out that her dress was not very pretty after falling down a hole. Tarrant took a look at her and then agreed and so the March Hare and Mallymkun went on ahead, Tarrant sewed her a new dress and Alice made the dishes since no one seemed to have been doing that lately. Even though the Hatter finished her dress surprisingly fast, Alice still had time to clean all of the dishes, sweep the floor and even dust the shelves somewhat. Not that Tarrant really noticed, he was so excited about the dress and visiting the Queen that he didn't seem to notice anything at all really, not even that both the hare and Mally were gone. So Alice went up to her room and tried on the very pretty lavender dress. It was a perfect fit, and she wasn't surprised at all. He hadn't taken any measures, still he knew just how big to make it. If that was because they'd know eachother for such a long time or because he simply was extremely skilled she didn't know.

When she came downstairs once more Tarrant looked at her with a smile.

"I like it! Hope you like it! You look great! I mean it's great that the dress fits and that it suits you and..."

"Tarrant! I love it, thank you."

Over the years, Alice had learnt how to calm him down when he didn't seem to be able to, either because he was too excited or too angry. Now he seemed thankful, even though he didn't express it and smiled at her. Then he handed her his arm so that she could hold it while they walked, always being a gentleman. Alice gladely took it and they walked out the door together.

It felt good not to walk through the forest alone for once, seeing as she almost always got lost. The fact that she even found her way to the Hatter's house yesterday was a miracle, even if she just followed the signs pointing to 'the Mad Hatter'. It was a bit mean that they called Tarrant mad, he was a bit peculiar and strange, but he certainly wasn't mad. Far from it, he always had a special thought to everything he said, it was just hard for others to see it most of the times. It was even a bit difficult for herself, but she had learned not to be bothered by that and simply love him for who he was. He hadn't said much since they left the house, which wasn't like him, but he seemed to have sunken deep into his own thoughts and it didn't bother Alice. She just walked alongside him, admiring the unusual trees and plants growing in this forrest. After all, she didn't know when she would be going home and therefore, she also didn't know how much time she had to apprechiate Wonderland.

After walking for quite some time, they arrived at the pond across which Tarrant had thrown his hat with her on it when they were being chased by red knights. He didn't seem to notice, maybe he didn't remember? Or perhaps he just didn't care at the moment. He simply walked around it and was about to continue walking across the plains on the other side when Alice suddnetly stopped.

"Tarrant... what's become of Salazen Grum?"

Alice looked out from the cliff they where currently standing on and across the desert that followed. In the distance she could spot a few towers, but the rest of the castle appeared to be missing. Tarrant looked up next to her, waking up from his thoughts.

"The White Queen emptied the moat and had a great burial for the people whos' heads were laying there, after she filled it with water blue as the sky. The execution ring and all of the dungeons was removed and replaced with a wine cellar and a garden. The castle is now a home for the ones who don't have a home."

"That's wonderful..."

"Is it? So many deaths... so many lives..."

He had a point. Coud one really ignore that much misery and death of a place just because it's not there to be seen anymore?


	5. Chapter 5

Walking to Marmoreal went much slower than riding the Bandersnatch, well longer than Alice had expected at least and now her feet was starting to ache. Tarrant didn't seem to be minding this though, after looking out over Salazen Grum he had walked silent for a little bit before he started talking and he hadn't stopped yet, even though at least two hours had gone. He was telling her about how much better a ruler Mirana was than her sister, telling her that everything in Wonderland had gone back to it's former grace and beauty, if not even more beautiful than before.

"Ah! See here!"

He stopped by the edge of the road to pick up a little white flower that was growing amongst an entire sea of flowers covering the plain.

"Isn't it lovley?"

"Yes it is."

Alice smiled at her friend who stood there with a happy grin on his face until he a little bit awkwardly put the flower in her hair, right behind her ear. Then he smiled even more, a bit embarrased perhaps? Before he looked down on the ground an continued walking, this time he didn't speak again before Palace Marmoreal was within sight.

Marmoreal was as big, bright and beautiful as always, which wasn't very strange since it was huge and built in pure marble. Bayards wife along with her pups greated them at the gate and ran on ahead to tell the Queen of their arrival. Alice what a bit nervous about seeing Mirana again if she was to be completely honest, but Tarrant walked closely by her side and when she looked up at him he smiled reasuringly. That calmed her down a bit. The last time she was here it was to bring Mirana the Vorpal Sword and then her task had been so obvious and containing pretty much all of her thoughts so she didn't really have the time to feel nervous, but she did now. Still, when the doors opened into the great hall, all of that went away. The people of Mirana's court smiled at her, varm, comforting smiles, just like Mirana herself did although she was sitting up on her throne. When Alice and Tarrant came close enough though she ran up and down the stairs to hug them both. Then she stepped back and looked at them with a happy smile.

"Oh Alice! I can't say how happy I am to see you back here in Wonderland! Thank you Tarrant for bringing her here, I have so much to tell you about how things in Wonderland are now!"

"Well there can't be much left that Tarrant hasn't told me already."

"Pity... Well I suppose we'll find something else to talk about, like how you got this pretty little flower in your hair."

"Oh, Tarrant gave it to me."

"You don't say..."

Mirana suddently got a very special look in her eyes that was difficult for Alice to read, she had barely ever seen it before. Only on Margaret at that made up engagement party that Alice left all on her own, completely unengaged. Although she wondered why Mirana looked at her like that now, it wasn't like she knew something that they didn't, did she? Tarrant didn't seem to notice the strange look in his queens eyes, instead he just spoke his mind like always.

"We would like to see the Oraculum, my queen, to see what the purpose of Alice being her this time is."

"My dear friend, I'm afraid I have to deny that request. At least for a little while, I have already seen the Oraculums purpose for Alice this time and I would like to see it get certain myself before you get to see it.

The disappointment in the Hatter's eyes shined through and he didn't try to hold it back, but he didn't oppose his queen either. Instead he just accepted what she'd told him.

"Yes my queen."

"But please, let me make it up to you so that you haven't come this far for nothing. Stay here tonight and have dinner with me and my court, it would bring me the greatest joy."

"We'd be delighted to."

Tarrant seemed to have lost his ability to speak -again- so Alice just chimed in and answered in his place, for which she received another smile before they followed the queen upstairs.

Mirana walked quickly through her castle, although she obviously wasn't in a hurry, it was probably just that she knew this place like the back of her hand and there was nothing to hold her back. The few people they met in the hallways just gave her a polite bow or a nod whilst the Queen herself walked on. After a while they stopped in a hallway that was only lit up by a few torches on the wall that burned with blue fire. The floor was white and grey checkerd and right in the middle there was a blue, velvet carpet. So it all pretty much looked like every other hallway that they had walked through this evening.

"Here are your rooms, I do hope you like them. Now I will leave you to get washed up before dinner. It's at seven, in the dining hall."

Mirana had just started taking a few steps away form them when she suddently stopped and turned around.

"Oh, and the rooms share the same balcony, I hope you don't mind?"

"Not at all."

When Alice answered Mirana she had already begun to walk again and Alice wondered why she had asked if she did not care about their answers? Maybe it was just a way to tell them so that no one would be surprised when the other door on the balcony lead into the others room. Yes, that was probably the reason, but then why wouldn't she just say that the rooms shared a balcony, why would she ask if they minded it? There were so many questions that popped into Alices head, but she didn't feel like thinking about them. Instead she agreed with the Hatter on meeting outside of the rooms right before seven and then they left to go rest up after the long walk that they'd had.


	6. Chapter 6

Having dinner with the queen and her court was nice, but not as nice as Alice had thought it would be. It was really stiff, most of the conversation were compliments on the food or something about how happy the trees in the garden seemed. Even though she didn't say it out loud, Alice definately prefered dinner and tea at the Hatter's house where everything was always so loud and somebody was always singing or telling an interesting story which half of made no sense at all but nobody cared about that. After a while she even found herself wishing she could leave and immediatley felt a bit guilty for not fully enjoying Miranas hospitality. Although she wasn't the only one. Tarrant was sitting at the end of the table, a few seats away, picking in his food with a fork as a child that isn't hungry but has still been told not to leave the table until he's finished. Alice laughed at the thought until it reminded her of her nephew and she realized, she actually missed the little guy a bit. That really made her sad, because as the thought developed, she remembered that there was no way for her to get home, well at least none that she knew of. Those thoughts occupied her mind for the rest of the dinner, but none of the people at the court seemed to notice her sadness. They were all too busy discussing the new flowers that had been planted in the garden recently, white roses. What a surprise. Why couldn't they be yellow for a change? She had really grown tired of the whole "white this" and "red that" thing.

* * *

By the time Alice finally got up to her room and crawled into bed she was completely exhausted. This day she had walked for so many hours only to spend almost as many hours sitting by a table, pretending to be in a good mood and thinking of everything as delightful. Now all she wanted to do was sleep, but the bed was far to uncomfortable to be allowed in a castle and it didn't exactly help her relax. So after a while of tossing and turning, Alice got up and put on a robe before going out on the balcony. To her surprise, Tarrant stood out there as well. When he realised he was there, he quickly turned around, looking just a little bit startled."

"Alice. What are you doing out here?"

"I couldn't sleep. What's your excuse?"

"It's pretty difficult to sleep when you haven't done it in two years. Especially with so many things occupying your mind."

"What sort of things?"

Alice took a few steps over to him and leaned against the fence that stopped her from falling a very long fall down. He seemed so... little. As if he had lost something and recently found it but didn't remember what he was supposed to do with it. He looked down at her with his green eyes for a while before he spoke.

"Why, Alice? Why are you here? How did you get here?"

If it was one thing that she didn't expect it was that she was what was occupying his mind at night. It took her a few seconds to get over that and then she had to think of a good answer for him, but couldn't find one.

"I don't know Tarrant. I... I fell, down a whole by a pond where I used to have my reading lessons as a child. It was the same place where I fell down the first time I came here. When I was six."

"Peculiar... but not surprising."

"What do you mean?"

"Alice, that is one of the few ways into Wonderland and..."

"And what? Tarrant please, tell me! It might help me to get back home!"

"Well that's the thing. That way is only open for people whos' heart belong in Wonderland. Alice, this is your home now, you're not going back."

"No! I don't believe you! I... I have to see my mother and... my nephew and Margret... Tarrant! Tell me there's a way for me to get back home!"

"Well, then I'd be lying and personally I find lying very rude."

Alice couldn't believe her ears. There had to be some way for her to get back home to her mother and her sister and well even Lowell! Even Hamish and his mother would be a welcome sight at this moment! Or maybe not a welcome sight but at least it would calm her down to see their smug faces, to realize this was all just a very realistic dream. But she knew it wasn't. Tarrant was standing right there in front of her and he was telling the truth, just as she would expect him to do. He really looked and seemed awfully sorry for her and a small part of her wanted to tell him that it wasn't his fault, but somehow she couldn't bring herself to do it. She was panicing and had no reason not to show it exept for the one that she didn't want him, or anyone else, to see her that vulnerable so before the tears started to rush down her face she turned around and ran into her room, locking the door. She even pulled out the curtains so that no one would see her and then rushed to the uncomfortable bed whichs firm surface actually felt quite comforting when the thoughts rushed through her head. She would never hear her mother say something comforting again, or see her sister smile. She would never hold Peter in her arms and hear him giggle of the delight of playing with her hair. Instead she was stuck here in Wonderland for the rest of her life with the stiff white court and her mad friends that she still loved, but it sure didn't feel like home. It just felt awful. There was no other word for the way she felt.


End file.
